Business As Usual

When someone close to you passes away life doesn't stop altogether.  In fact, the voice of the living still cries out “business as usual”.  Demands business as usual, dictates business as usual.  Thankfully, there is often an “excused pause” graced by co-workers, friends, and extended family.  However spoken or unspoken the underlying current strains “Can we please get back to how things usually are?”  Death becomes an uncomfortable reality, disrupting pace, present relationships and future pursuits.  But to the person that is managing their everyday life after a loss, there is almost nothing that feels like “business as usual”.

It’s crazy because I don’t usually feel this irritable.  I don’t usually lack such patience.  I am usually much happier and can usually overlook much more.  I don’t usually cry this much and definitely not usually in front of strangers.  I can usually arm myself with the right words to deflect dumb ones just spoken to me with much more grace.  I don’t usually feel this vulnerable and am not usually this sensitive.  I don’t usually feel this measure of guilt or feel like I am going to buckle under the weight of regret.   I can usually think through things with clearer thought and reason.  Everything about present life feels quite unusual actually and there just doesn’t seem to be the opportunity to whole-heartedly embrace this notion of “business as usual” simply because everything keeps moving forward.

Unusual emotions, ponderings, responses appear to be the normal business of grieving the loss of someone we love.  It doesn’t mean that there won’t be moments that feel like things are as they were before, however with or without our permission life is carving a new path of what normal looks like, feels like, and will be like now.  And that is O.K.  If there is one thing every person is subject to and life on earth declares is that there is only one thing that never changes and that is that EVERYTHING CHANGES!  The job we have is to become comfortable with this reality.  The faster we do that, the more flexibility we will exercise to embrace every season, the good with the bad, the joyful with the sad because that is life’s business as usual. 

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

         Ecclesiastes 3:3-11

Questionable Motives!

If there is one thing that I feel God continuously deals with me about, it’s my motives.  My motives for speaking, motives for staying silent, motives for singing, motives for serving, motives for wanting to succeed, motives...motives…motives!  Believe it or not, He even deals with my motives for doing the tiniest thing like tweeting!  Tweeting?  Yes, tweeting!  “Why am I about to say what I am about to say? Why am I posting what I am about to post?”  WHY? WHY? WHY?  OK…ENOUGH!!!  I get it!  Motives are important to God!

Proverbs 21:2 says; “We justify our actions by appearances; God examines our motives.”  Now why would He do that?  Simply put, “Mixed motives twist life into tangles; pure motives take you straight down the road.” Proverbs 21:8.  The purer the motives, the purer the journey, the faster we effectively complete our life’s assignment with fewer distractions and less emotional casualties. 

OK, transition into awkward embarrassing story to illustrate what I mean.  Bear in mind, I was a broken-hearted teenager.  I was mad, I felt used, hurt, and cheated.  I am sure you get the picture.  Oh come on, like no one else has ever had the “I’ll show you!” rise up from within them!  Long story short, relationship has an ugly ending and now I feel compelled to write the perfect “exit letter”.

“Dear Un-Named Ex-Boyfriend”

“Blah blah blah…” (And more unimportant irrelevant junk)

 “By the way…One day when I am receiving my Grammy Award you will be sorry that you ever let me go!” 

What!!!  I went from “See ya later” to binding myself to the near impossible goal of receiving a Grammy Award just as payback to a guy I knew for less than a year?  Houston we have got a problem!  In case you do not know this about me, nearing 20 years later and yep…still no Grammy.  Why?  Because I believe motivation built on the wrong foundation does not have the lasting power to endure till the end.    

Wait Melissa, it sounds like you are talking about two different things, motives and motivation.  Motivation is rooted in the motive.  It’s the reason people are motivated to do a thing. Subconsciously or consciously, motives have an intention to produce a certain outcome.  If our motive is love, we are motivated to perform acts of love with the outcome of having a great relationship.  If our motive is insecurity, we will be motivated to respond to things based on our insecurities to subconsciously protect ourselves from rejection, etc. 

The beautiful thing about God is that He is God.  He is the only ONE capable of searching the heart and discerning the motives behind people’s actions.   So when we are tempted to judge people’s actions and their motives, we would be wise to leave that up to the only One who sees all.  “Judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.” 1Cor 4:5

However, when it comes to ourselves, He has given us a powerful tool to expose and remove impure motives from our own hearts.  The bible says in Hebrews 4:11-13 “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents (motives) of the heart.”

So what motive is God looking for?  What motive has the lasting power to endure all things to end accompanied by a clear conscious?  You probably guessed it by now!  Love! “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” 1Cor 13:4-8

So the next time I go to tweet, write a blog, make a phone call, send a text, join a ministry, or I do that thing, whatever that “thing” may be; I am going to ask myself these questions.  Is this kind?  Am I doing this out of impatience, envy or to boast?  Am I being proud, or am I dishonoring anyone?  Am I just looking out for myself or doing this because I am angry?  Am I trying to payback someone because of the record of wrong I am keeping of them?  Am I telling that persons business because I am gossiping out of evil and rejoicing in their shortcomings?  Is what I am doing based on the truth of God’s word?  Does it protect or expose people’s weaknesses?  Have I trusted that situation or that person to God, and am I believing the best?

Maybe this goal is as far reaching as my yet unattained Grammy Award.  Oh well! I am still going to try, still going to press, and still to going to reach toward it because love perseveres and LOVE is the only thing that NEVER FAILS! 

Mr. Success

Recent original @melhice tweet:

"Today I give myself permission to succeed and to fail trying!" 

For so long I have felt greatness churning on the inside of my being.  In my youth, I was unconquerable and unstoppable!  I had big dreams, high hopes and just the right amount of that fiery redhead fight in me to make it all happen.  However, as each year passed and with every personal failure added, disappointment knocked the wind of out my sails and began to slowly sink my boat called FAITH as I barely clung to the life preserver HOPE.

The bible says in Micah 7:8,

"Do not gloat over me, my enemy!

Though I have fallen, I will rise.

Though I sit in darkness,

the LORD will be my light."

Hope will whisper to us in our darkest moments, in the very midst of onslaught of mockery thrown at us by our adversary and say, "You are not done; you can get up one more time."  So that is just what I did.  I simply kept getting up.  Shaky, but I got up.  Weak, but I got up.  Slowly, but I still got up.

However, Failure is not the enemy I want to expose today.  As destructive as it may be, there is another foe I am in the midst of slaying.  You see, I have recently realized that I have still been paralyzed.  Free to walk and run but somehow stuck, frozen, and unable to live in the "wide open space" available to me.  The bible says that Jesus came to give me life and life in abundance (John 10:10).  I began to question why my life didn't seem to reflect the fullness of God’s promises.

So what is the name of this Goliath that has been lurking in the dark corners of my soul, cowering behind Failure until he could be hidden no longer?  His name is deceiving; for if called out just by his last name he gives the appearance of being a most desired friend.   I mean who in their right mind does not want to have the personal cell phone number and unlimited access to Mr. Success?  However, call him out by his full name and you have got someone who does not have your personal interest in mind and could care less about you accomplishing the dreams and purposes of God in your life.

Fear of Success is the enemy’s follow up companion to Failure.  If the shame and condemnation of our own personal failures isn’t enough to snuff the life out of us, it is a sure bet that the next visitor to knock on our door will be the fear to succeed.  With its humble appearance and garments of lowliness it appears to be the most honorable path.   But we are not to be fooled.   True humility and meekness are displayed through a surrendered life that manifests God’s power and glory.

“Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.  Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”  1 Corinthians 1:26-31

When we succeed we become a declaration to the world that there is a God and that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask, think or imagine (Eph 3:20).  In the Old Testament the enemies of Israel trembled when they saw the great things God did for His people.  When the prophets lived boldly before the Lord, the things God did through them became a loud call of warning of repentance.  When Jesus walked the earth testifying of God, miracles, signs and wonders followed Him wherever He went.  He did not apologize for who He was and what God did through His hands because He was simply being obedient to the orders of His Father and leaving the response of the people to God.

When we do not give ourselves permission to both fail and to succeed, we abort the opportunity to display God’s wisdom, His power and His love to all of mankind.  We miscarry the seed of the godly legacy we have been commissioned to leave on this earth for the next generation to pick up and run faster, go farther and do greater things than we could have accomplished in our own lifetime all to the glory of God!

Today I send an invitation out to slay this giant occupying the land of your promises!  Your dream matters because God’s dream matters.  Today, give yourself “Permission to succeed and to fail trying.”